“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”Ħ. “Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”ĥ. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.”Ĥ. “I don’t have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!”Ģ.“I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”ģ. Here are 101 Funny Quotes from Stand-up Comedians to brighten up your day: Let’s start with one of my favourite stand-up comedians, George Carlinġ. They comment on politics and other topics and give us their take on reality. Stand-up Comedians remind us not to take life too seriously. Modern Stand-up Comedy has been wedging itself into popular culture throughout the 18th, 19th and 20th Century and it’s become an integral part of modern society as we know it. It’s widely considered to be the oldest known staged comedy act anywhere in the world.

It had all the attributes of modern stand-up comedy. All those experiments have a bad ending (Bad Endings Quotes) Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one (Bad Endings Quotes) Don’t cry because life has its bad endings but smile because a whole new adventure has just started.In the 16th and 17th Century Chakyar koothu was very popular in two Indian states (Trivandrum and southern Kerala). Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. (Bad Endings Quotes) Bad beginnings, bad endings (Bad Endings Quotes) To assume all the powers is not good for anybody. It’s like you’re not going to hang out with these people anymore, and that’s bad enough. (Bad Endings Quotes) Endings of television shows are sometimes such depressing things. (Bad Endings Quotes) I don’t want to stay in the bad place, where no one believes in silver linings or love or happy endings. Most times they’re just beginnings in disguise. I have nothing more to say.’ (Bad Endings Quotes) Endings are not always bad. A lot times I just want to say, ‘That’s the end of my sentence. (Bad Endings Quotes) I’m very bad at ending sentences.

A bad ending is something I’ve just gotten in the habit of forgiving.

(Bad Endings Quotes) A novel with a bad middle is a bad book. There’s enough misery and bad things happening in the world (Bad Endings Quotes) All Hollywood endings - the bad endings have to be the bad guys to be falling about 50 stories to his death and you have to see his eyeballs as he goes to his doom. The idea, you know, ‘It’s not literature unless is ends badly,’ and I really don’t like that. If a book is any good, it’s ending is always bad - because you don’t want the book to end (Bad Endings Quotes) The reason I write romance is that I like happy endings. (Bad Endings Quotes) Laughter is not a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is the best ending for one (Bad Endings Quotes) Only bad books have good endings. That’s probably not a very postmodern thing to say. In fiction it would be very hard for me, as a writer, to give a bad ending to a good character, or give a good ending to a bad character. Text Quotes The legacy of the fairy story in my brain is that everything will work out.

Funny quotes about endings